I woke up this christmas morning alone and realized that it was a reality check to being in my mid 30's, single and no plan in sight. Is being alone on xmas really all that bad or is it REALLY all that bad!!?? My dog gave me her usual morning wet kisses and we rolled around for a few minutes in bed, snorting and laughing like we do every day, but something was missing. Was it him? Was it me? Had my head and heart left the building?
Maybe I was homesick, not for home, but for familiarity. Funny how this word contains within it "familia" and its defined as being something with which we have considerable acquaintance with or an established friendship or intimacy. I know that being home with family drives me crazy, but I somehow missed it this year. My new home in sunny California seemed dark and cold without that familiar smell of brocolli and cheese casserole and pecan pie. I baked some bread in hopes of renewing my spirit, but to no avail, I still missed moms homecooking.
Is being alone on christmas my destiny? Will I have my own family to spend the holidays with someday? I guess all I can really hope for is for next chrsitmas to be in familiar surroundings, smelling familiar smells, and enjoying my family. Ive realized just how important family is to me this year and everyday I am grateful for them.
